Losing the Love of Your Life: What To Do When You Lose "The One". (2023)

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Losing the love of your life makes you realize that love really can be a double-edged sword. It can make us feel so connected to the world and fill our hearts to overflowing. It can also break our hearts into pieces and leave painful emotions for a long time.

And one of the most painful places to be is where you feel regret, guilt and pain over losing someone you see as too great a loss to recover from. The one who was there for you, loved you and did this"thick and fine"thing because they believed in you. But now they are gone.

This one. 1. This. Have. one way

Losing the love of your life and really realizing it can take some time to surface. When you part, there is pain on both sides. A healing time. A moment when you start to move on and life slowly becomes happier. The pain subsides and you reflect on the lessons you've learned and seek new love.

There are also times when this is not the case. Where you think of someone every day. Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with the guilt and regret of living in your belly. At this point, you often second-guess yourself, thinking that that person you lost has left a hole in your life that can never be filled.

As you begin to emotionally process your role in the breakup, you slowly come to the painful realization thatsabotaged caryou and this relationship.

The first step is to ask yourself: "BECAUSE?"

Did you not feel good enough/worthy of this person and therefore felt insecure?and do things to sabotage your relationship?

Did the intimacy scare you and make you push it away?

Were you afraid to go up?

Did you want to commit but didn't feel ready to give up/compromise your freedom or lifestyle at the time?

Have you been living a lie somehow?

Half in/half out of another relationship you didn't know about?

you cheated on her

you lied

Or was it weird?

Was distance a key issue?

It was about money - did you make more or did they make less? Did it make you feel threatened, unworthy or guilty?

Career choice and opportunities?

How and why we sabotage ourselves - the reasons are endless.The whole sabotage thing is aRed flagthat we are not in tune with ourselves and our needs. It is a sign that we are no longer connected to who we are and where we are going in life right now. It also highlights our fears, insecurities and our inability to be honest –both with ourselves and with others.

When that moment is related to screwing up our relationship with someone else, we often fail to see what we've done to ourselves because we're too focused on the other person. Losing her is all we can think about and we don't see itwe got lost too.

Life is dyed with the colors of winter and life does not go on. Even in a state of being out of touch for months, maybe over a year... sometimes your connection to a person who was emotionally available, was good to you and loved you just won't go away. Attempts to start dating again, being in a new relationship still leaves you feeling unable to disconnect.

The feeling of wanting and missing her fills every day. The love you still have for her isn't fading. The guilt you feel for hurting that special someone is holding you tight. When you think of her, your heart sinks as you remember how pure her intention was. How they were always so consistent, so consistent and so easily able to be themselves. Always by your side. no drama No one else can match these qualities.What happened?

(Video) If You Lost Someone, Watch This

You may even dislike yourself at times because you know that YOU were the one who caused the breakup and that you are responsible for causing pain to someone you truly value and cannot walk away from.

After losing the love of your life (and a lot of soul searching), you come back to the same conclusion that the problem was entirely YOU. And your emotional punching bag is what you lost.

The one who deserved so much more than the crap you gave them. The one who, even in the darkest of times, wanted enough to endure until he finally said "enough is enough".

How do you make it up to someone when you're in this place?

You can do it?

After losing the love of your lifeCan you make her realize that you've changed?

Pause for a minute and instead focus on this again:

Ask yourself again:"Why did this happen? HOW did losing the love of my life become my reality?"

There is one caveat: you must be absolutely honest with yourself before you even try to contact this person.

You must make peace with yourself before you can make peace with anyone else.

So WHY did this happen? WHAT was your fault? And can you change these factors to ensure the slate is clean when you try again?

If you want a different result, you have to do things differently. It's that simple: unless circumstances change, you can't achieve anything new or create a place for love to grow.

yes it can be done Nothing is impossible. But you have to be ready for it, open to it and emotionally available.

It has to be said up front, you can never rekindle lost love if you can't handle it.BecauseYou sabotaged a situation yourself.Your relationships with others are always a reflection of you. Ever.

Because of this, as we begin to evolve and become a better person, we distance ourselves from people who no longer serve or support us. On the other hand, when we are in a state of insecurity, self-sabotage and emotional unavailability, this is why the good ones leave.

Like attracts like.

As you develop healthy boundaries, lots of other good things will come along as well, but you'll need to do some big clearing along the way. Bad habits, bad decisions andtoxic relationshipseveryone will have to go.

The upside to self-sabotage is that you start to see itthe answers are always within.Whenever you sabotage yourself, all you have to do is look at yourself. There is a wealth of information in their behavior that you may either ignore or recognize.Do the latter and you will grow. If you do the first one, history will repeat itself over and over again.

Sometimes we unconsciously cut ourselves off from something good to avoid dealing with painful issues within. So it's actually a conscious decision, but without you first consciously understanding why.

For example, no matter how good the sex is, if you can't be there emotionally for someone who needs you in some other way, that's not true love. You need to be emotionally present and available.

You can push someone away when you feel vulnerable because it's scary.When onerelationship with a healthy personbegins to develop more deeply, everything within you becomes enlightened.And if you have fear or pain inside, it will start to surface. It is the emergence of painful emotions and fear that often lead to self-sabotage.

Instead of dealing with latent doubt, let's do the following:

  • We stopped communicating.
  • We push people away.
  • We make excuses.
  • we lied
  • We're getting really busy.
  • We tell lies or versions of the truth.
  • We try to hide our shame or fear.
  • We blame others.
  • we play games
  • We started fights.
  • We avoid conversations.
  • We run hot and cold.
  • We make choices in life that bring us down, not up.

And at worst, we choose people who don't love us back (because, on some level, we don't believe we deserve to be loved). It's temporarily more convenient, but it really is a road to nowhere... Ouch. Redirect. Please.

However, here's the deal...

(Video) 5 Ways To Get Back On Track When You've Lost Your Way

When you were with someone valuable who had strong boundaries and was emotionally available...

Is it over there. Go. Go out.

They won't stand it for months. Because?

Because they know their worth - and they let their words match their actions.

Your words and actions are likely to no longer match, and they will feel it, see it, and hear it.

You will limit your losses.

Because you don't offer love They offer a version of love full of mixed messages. And it became obvious that you cannot love yourself, let alone her. They feel they don't deserve these conflicting messages or the drama and confusion that has been created. If they tried to level with you and you can't level back, they'll see the brick wall in front of you before they hit it. And go.

This is who you are, which is reflected back to you. Just look. Learn from the loss of the love of your life.

Be brave and accept yourself. First learn to love yourself - only then can you truly open your heart to others.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

What a powerful quote. I think we also give the love we are capable of. When you know you're emotionally short of someone special, open your heartyourself.

With reference tobroken hearts:You can only fix yours. Stop focusing externally on trying to love others if you can't love yourself. In fact, self-sabotage is rooted in feeling unworthy of good things. Understand this and you will quickly realize when something puts you in this state. There is an advantage to knowing this, and being aware of this connection can help you avoid falling into the same trap.

If we stick with oneheartbroken, the pieces are right in front of us - we can't escape what we're feeling at this level. In that state you are vulnerable and pain is a gift because it helps you grow and move forward. You cannot move forward or heal without pain. Don't be afraid of it - embrace it!

To bring back the one who got away, you must be willing to share your vulnerabilities and sincerely apologize. And that won't be difficult if you're really connected to your emotions in a healthy way.

Do the work first and then move on.

You'll know you're ready when you can look inside. What manifests on the outside is a direct result of what is on the inside. This message is repeated here over and over again because it is the real issue we are dealing with. There are no shortcuts, emotional discounts or "14-day anti-self-sabotage plans".

Remember, there was a time when this person was in your life and wanted you too.Where they are sitting right now with these feelings you won't know until you connect with them. Go into every communication with an open heart. The worst case scenario is that they can't say yes to you.

If you can't be reunited with those who escaped, at least see the present in what you left behind: a lesson you learned so as not to repeat the same mistakes. Receiving this is a life changing gift. appreciate it.Only a healthy and emotionally available person can give you something like that.

If the one who got away doesn't try again, try not to see it as rejection. Try to see him as someone who hasHealthy LimitsBy telling them that what you were offering was not loving, they chose to break free.

Had they chosen to stay, it would have been breeding ground for more dysfunction, more emotional drama, and zero growth. They taught you with their actions that love is not like that! you walked away It would have hurt them too. They, too, had to heal and come to terms with a loss.

How much healing needed to be done on their part depends on why they moved on. If you started pushing her away because you were afraid of intimacy, that's different.serial fraudon them. In short, anything you do to ruin something good always comes back to you. The other part is collateral damage. But you must do your part to hurt and include them in your unresolved issues.

Since moving, they may have found new love. Maybe they're in a new place in life and their circumstances have changed in a way that they feel doesn't suit you as a couple anymore.

(Video) Sam Smith - For The Lover That I Lost (Audio)

You may have learned your lesson, you may have changed, but water runs under the bridge. Past is past. Some things you have no control over. You really only have today. Now. The gift. Use the. Be merciful if you find that you can't get along with this person because they chose not to. When they share their feelings with you, you should know that they do so out of respect and love.

If you get the green light...

When an opportunity arises to get back involved after losing the love of your life and they are willing to consider rebuilding a relationship with you, you see the beauty in that. It really is a rare opportunity. Nothing happens by chance, so accept it wholeheartedly! Be the best version of yourself, for YOU. Your partner will benefit in the long run if you are okay with yourself.

Always remember that to do a good job of loving someone else, you must first love yourself.

The whole lesson about losing the love of your life to self-sabotage is this:

You are responsible for your own happiness, no one else.

You are responsible for your behavior, no one else. If you are not seeing the things you want in life, look at yourself.What are you afraid of?

Self-sabotage is when you jump in at the last moment and dread what's ahead of you (even if it's good for you).

If you feel unworthy, you are sure to ignore a good prospect and make excuses.

Have you ever felt this way? Try this next time:


Say it out loud to yourself: TELL THE PERSON WHO IS WITH YOU. Say, “I'm feeling a little insecure right now. I want that, but at the same time it's scary."

it says!Because? Because when you say that, you're not hiding your fears. Because when you're vulnerable, you're real. And when you're with people who are good to you, they're going to love and respect you for that and love and respect you.through thethis. When you recognize something that scares you, you release a lot of that fear. Sharing it with someone you love is about trust and acceptance. We are still worthy even if we fight. Don't hide behind lies, excuses and blunders. Own who you are. errors and such.

The other side of this is: don't accept excuses and blunders from others. If they can't admit their mistakes, you can't love them! Easy. People are like diamonds. multifaceted. We can't spend our lives offering a good side we think we have to offer. What makes a diamond beautiful is the way light enters it.through thethis. The way the diamond cut reflects this light. Please don't screw this up by thinking you can hide parts of yourself. All diamonds shine despite their flaws.

We are all flawed.

There is no such thing as perfection. Drop that standard because, as Natasha says, that's the lowest standard you can hold. Be real, be flawed, and learn to be vulnerable. If you can do this, you will stop sabotaging yourself. Learn to let people in. It's about being emotionally available. This is where intimacy begins to germinate.

Self-sabotage is the emotional equivalent of running away (and eventually losing the love of your life). where will you run what you're hiding You can't run from who you are.Accept yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself.

The person who got away may not be someone you had a romantic relationship with. You may look back and see this as a lost job opportunity. A friendship that was once golden. A once-in-a-lifetime chance to try something new or exciting... An incredible social invitation... A chance to shine because someone saw something great in you... and you turned it down at the last minute.

look inside

When we sabotage something for ourselves, the issue is always that our fears, anxieties and low self-esteem cloud our view of what is being offered to us. Fortunately, life has a way of giving us new opportunities to try again, so we can move forward and overcome the problems that hold us back. If you can look within, you will realize that nothing is really lost.

Losing the love of your life again... if you want to reconnect with that special soul that hasn't left your heart, know this:

If you are honest, kind and upfront with yourself and them, they will know and appreciate it. They will respect you for it. You might as well love and respect yourself for it. It takes courage to go up to someone you've hurt and admit it.

Remember it happened because of youforget to love yourself🇧🇷 It happened becauseself sabotage.

There is no hard and fast rule or formula that can reignite lost love, but there are steps you can take to create a fertile place for that love to blossom again. You cannot develop love with another person if you cannot blossom within yourself first. If you can't love and accept yourself, no one else can.

Be grateful for these two beautiful things when you know you've lost true love:

First, you can attract a loving person because you have what it takes, even if you haven't seen it at times. But you must reinforce your strengths and insecurities by loving them too, otherwise you will always end up coming from a place of lack or unworthiness. This is where the bond always breaks.

(Video) Lost In Your Love - Brandon Lake, feat. Sarah Reeves | House of Miracles (Live)

Heal your frailty and the bond will never be broken. Admit your fears and mistakes, because when you do, something lovely emerges from them, instead of being an obstacle, they become a bridge to wholeness.

We ALL have mistakes and insecurities🇧🇷 Don't think you are the only one. yYou must choose not to hide behind made-up images, ostentation, and some version of the truth.True love is about being vulnerable. NO ONE can come close to you until you can be with yourself in this place.

Second, the person you liked tried to love you. When they left, they mirrored to you what you couldn't see in yourself, unavailability. You were someone they hit a wall with, and wise people know what to do when they hit a wall.

They leave. This is the gift they gave you. A time to think. To realize this. Recognize it and work on it. That person showed you that without a level playing field, no one would score.

The saddest thing about self-sabotage is that it does nothing! It doesn't protect us. What we all need to understand is that when we are connected to a person in a healthy and loving way, it's easy to deal with bad days and weaknesses.🇧🇷 Because these issues do not dominate or interfere with the relationship.

Think of it like this, no one in a serious relationship is going to leave you because you have the flu. They also won't let you if you say, "I'm really unsure about this. I'm working on it and thanks for the support."

And also recognize every opportunity to be in aemotionally availableThe relationship is a chance to show how you've evolved and grown. This time you have much more to offer. You have a solid shot at happiness because you're in a place of self-love, not self-sabotage. You have love to offer and you don't have to hide it anymore. you also no longer suffer from the fear that prevents you from letting them in.

This is the love you deserve. That's the love you have to let in. That's the only love you want to accept - and give to others.

The gift of failure:

We have this bad habit of looking at failure negatively, but no, failure teaches us new perspectives and paves the way for growth and success.

Without mistakes, we don't learn a better way. And the one that got away sheds light on where you need to get up and not fall down in the future.

Losing the love of your life is extremely lonely, but that special someone never left you. Even if they don't come back, they did.changed you for life🇧🇷 They awakened your soul. They loved you enough togo away and let me know, this love is what you deserve. That was something you didn't see in yourself. It impressed you. A true lesson in love.

Losing the love of your life is really about where you are when a person has entered your life. Failed relationships show where we are hungrier. They show us where to go next and reflect the energy we are putting out.

Time flies and with it the past becomes something that belongs to days you can't get back. You cannot live in the past. The proverbial one that got awayeven if you get them backIt's still moving forward. Don't think it will be like before, it won't be. That can't be. The dynamic will have changed when you changed.

When you look at yourself and why you sabotaged yourself that resulted in you losing the love of your life, these wonderful things happen:

  • You learn to communicate better next time. You learn to express yourself more fully.
  • It gives you an opportunity to connect emotionally with yourself, which in turn allows you to build that connection with others.
  • Give and take in relationships is something you will learn. You'll discover the level of self-esteem it takes to say, "That's enough" and walk away, and you'll see how that must reside within you as well.

You will develop empathy for others because when you can look at your own mistakes and fears and forgive yourself, it also opens a window that allows you to do the same for others. compassion will dwell within you.

Above all, you learn to let go when confronted. Self-sabotage is about protecting yourself. But, ironically, it doesn't. You are attached to the wrong things and fear controls you. Feeling unworthy is like putting on a dark, heavy cape in summer and trying to feel the sun on your skin. That can never happen.

So if you are in a room wheremiss someoneto the point where you feel he's the one who got away, that you can't go on without him - stop. Understand that they have helped you on your journey with them to show you where you need to grow. There will always be another chance in the future where you can love again. No one escaped.

Instead you foundyourself.

This post was written by Lorelle, a member of Natasha Adamo's team.

Are you done with toxic relationships and ready to attract (and be attracted to) healthy relationships?Want to connect with others on a deeper level than the comments below?Click here to become an Emotional Mastery memberand learn more. If you are looking for more personalized one-on-one help, you canwork directly with Natasha Adamo here.



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What causes love disappear? ›

The Challenge Of Attachment

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It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.

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What does true deep love feel like? ›

You feel like a complete individual

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8 Telltale Signs Someone Doesn't Want to Be Your Friend
  1. #1 You Put in Most of the Effort.
  2. #2 They Actively Avoid Connecting Deeply with You.
  3. #3 They don't ask about you.
  4. #4 They Stop Reaching Out or Making Plans.
  5. #5 They Regularly Cancel Plans.
  6. #6 They Make Excuses.
  7. #7 They're Always Busy.

How do you let go of someone who didn't give you closure? ›

Below you'll find six strategies for letting go without closure.
  1. Give Yourself Permission. The days, weeks, and even months following a breakup are a time of mixed emotions. ...
  2. Create a Ritual. ...
  3. Write a Letter. ...
  4. Commit to a New Interest. ...
  5. Recognize that Closure Comes from Within. ...
  6. Seek the Help You Need.
26 Jul 2016

How many true love's do you have in a lifetime? ›

There's a theory that throughout our lifetime, we will fall in love three times, at three different stages of our lives. Each love feels totally unique from the other and teaches us something different that shapes the person that we becoming.

What are signs of true love? ›

You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs.
  • You feel safe with them. ...
  • They listen. ...
  • They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you. ...
  • You can communicate easily. ...
  • They encourage you to do your own thing. ...
  • You trust each other. ...
  • They make an effort. ...
  • You know you can collaborate or compromise.
27 Oct 2020

What age does true love start? ›

They found 55 percent of people fall in love for the first time between the ages of 15 and 18. So it's more than half, but that means 45 percent of people still haven't been in love when they enter college. Here's what else they learned about the age we first fall in love.

How long does it take to recover from losing a loved one? ›

It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.

Why is it so hard to get over the loss of a loved one? ›

Grief can bring about feelings of guilt and shares many of the symptoms of depression. The inability to recognize and confront grief, ignoring your overall health, and an unwillingness to move on and celebrate life can all make grief especially difficult to overcome.

How painful is losing a loved one? ›

Losing someone you love is the hardest thing in the world to deal with. Itʼs a kind of pain that you physically feel all over your body. Itʼs suffering of the worst kind. To make things even worse, it seems like no one else understands how youʼre feeling.

How does grief affect the brain? ›

Your brain is on overload with thoughts of grief, sadness, loneliness and many other feelings. Grief Brain affects your memory, concentration, and cognition. Your brain is focused on the feelings and symptoms of grief which leaves little room for your everyday tasks. and recognize it as a step towards healing.

What is the hardest death to deal with? ›

  • The death of a husband or wife is well recognized as an emotionally devastating event, being ranked on life event scales as the most stressful of all possible losses. ...
  • There are two distinct aspects to marital partnerships.

What not to do when you're grieving? ›

5 Things Not to Do When Grieving
  1. Do not try to self-medicate your emotional pain away. ...
  2. Do not avoid the pain you feel. ...
  3. Do not hide yourself away from friends and family. ...
  4. Do not focus on regrets, choices you've made, or past actions you've taken. ...
  5. Do not make major, life-changing decisions.


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3. I Lost Weight To Make My Crush Love Me 🍕🍔💔 | Toca Life Story | Sad Story | Toca Boca
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5. WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST - Powerful Motivational Video
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